It was a Saturday morning about five years ago, and I was driving to Home Depot to buy a new toilet seat. I was feeling pretty blue. I was feeling tired, old and fat, but mostly fat, because I had just broken a toilet seat. And I was thinking how much harder things were getting—things like remembering, and picking stuff up.
I was at the point of despair when I bellowed, “No! I’m not giving up!” And I began to lift myself out of my funk. I wasn’t that old. I could turn things around. Get in better shape. Improve.
So I was feeling optimistic and excited to begin my new, healthy lifestyle when I got stopped by a traffic light. As I sat there, innocently waiting for the light to change, I noticed a construction site to my right with a banner announcing the opening of…I blinked, I stared, I rubbed my eyes. Couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A new Krispy Kreme donut shop!
A decade or two before, Krispy Kreme had blown into town and opened a bunch of locations. Just as quickly, they closed them all down. The bastards! They were only open long enough to get me totally addicted. How utterly and irredeemably irresponsible!
But here was news that they were coming back. A mile from my house! I continued to Home Depot, where I went ahead and bought two toilet seats, knowing that I would need a spare.
I was reminded of this occasion by something ecologically minded landscape designer Claudia West recently told me.
“What can the typical homeowner do to save the world?” I asked her.
“Buy plants,” she answered.
Damn! That was a much better answer than I was expecting. In fact, just about the best answer I could hear. If we all plant more plants on our little pieces of urban sprawl, especially if we skew our purchases toward plants that offer ecological function, it could do great good. For the environment and for us. A rare and real win–win.
I wish giving in to my compulsion for Krispy Kreme donuts would benefit the world as much as giving in to my obsession for buying plants, but for some reason the Universe is set up to make us suffer. Way too often, it wants us to choose between things that are good and things that aren’t (even though they sometimes really, really are). Why? Why? Man, I’m always teetering on the brink of despair.
But, again, my long-suffering inner optimist is compelled to put a positive spin on this ugly truth of our human condition. Mere mortals like us don’t often find ourselves in situations where pursuing our passion is also the right thing to do. This is almost as good as a donut.
So, rest assured, I’m going to do my part. Heading to the garden center now. And taking the long way so I won’t pass the Krispy Kreme.
Illustration by Tom Beuerlein
