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Cruel To Be Kind

Ever have something inexplicably not bloom?

A question I get asked often, "Why doesn't my ____________ bloom?" And depending on what the plant is- I have a pretty standard answer that goes a little like this...

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When plants are really, really happy and you're completely tap dancing for them, trying to get them to bloom... They have no reason to bloom and set seed, there's no need to worry about the future. They know where their next meal is coming from They know you're tap dancing. They are thinking, "Why not put out a few leaves and call it a day?" It's in slacker mode.

What you have to do is threaten them a little to get them to bloom, yell at them. Stab around them in the soil with your spade. Make them watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don't water them until they are gasping for it. Play Bob Dylan's new Christmas album. You'll be surprised what a little abuse will bring on...

This... is my Dwarf Pomegranate which is now blooming like crazy even though it didn't bloom once this summer. It is in my basement, in the dark, the cold.... 6 blooms and buds!

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