A Garden in Revolt

Bad to the phloem!I feel like I’ve had a hangover for the last 3 months. Have you ever gardened with a hangover? Me either.

And my garden has taken notice…

So I finally went back to see what state the garden was in. I was having a burst of energy after work, in fact- it was really only a puff of energy.

The Rosa glauca, with it’s towering canes flopped over like a velvet rope, said, “I’ll need to see a photo ID, please,” and would not let me cross.

“Oh come on, it’s ME!” I whined. Spying a dead, from thirst or possibly cold, Jasmine laying on it’s side in the shadows…

The Ligularia ‘Britt Marie Crawford’ triplets sassed, “We consider ourselves orphans now.”

“We’ve discussed it, we’re wildflowers now,” shouted the Black Lace Elderberry- looking about as natural as a Joan Rivers.

“Come on, guys- you neeeed me!” I begged.

“What the heck do we need YOU for?” gasped out the Cardoon, choked by aphids.

“Look what YOU let happen to the Dahlias!” said the Trachelium.

“It’s from the cold. It’s not my fault, it happens every year. And guess what?  You’re next. Mr. Annual. It’s just a matter of time,” I reasoned.

The limp-with-thirst variegated Iris were now weeping quietly.

The Black Knight Buddleia said nothing.

3 Black Mondo Grasses sit, in their cans, in the grass waiting to be planted- stiff with confusion.

So I dug out the melted mess that was the Dahlias, in 2 seconds flat, and turned on the hose and gave everyone a good, deep drink. Amazing how THAT worked to regain power. I haven’t heard a peep out of them since.


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About Amanda Thomsen

Big, loud and fun- Amanda Thomsen landscapes by day and blogs at night. Her blog, Kiss My Aster, on Horticulture magazine's website has alienated/enraptured dozens.She co-authors a blog called Plants That Suck that is about plants that suck. And she is the less popular half of the podcasting team, Good Enough Gardening, which makes her feel like the "Roy" of of Siegfried and Roy, but without the mauling. She lives in Chicago and does not EVER put ketchup on hot dogs.

3 thoughts on “A Garden in Revolt

  1. wich fertilizer do you recomend for fig trees ?. I live in Orlando , Fl. I keep the plants in big containers because my area floods in rainy season.

  2. Hate to say it, but you’ve only just begun the whole priority shift thing. When I think back to how much work we did in the yard pre-baby–and how LITTLE we do now, I hang my head in shame.

    Fortunately, though our children grow up and leave us, there’s always a plant in need of some TLC. =)

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